Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
