I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Ladies don't puke and tell
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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