Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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