I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize