I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I need to sanitize my soul.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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