are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm having to shit out rocks
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
