I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize