Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
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