we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
