$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just pee glitter
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize