grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
