All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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