I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Randomize
