.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
