remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
