Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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