Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
