God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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