the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
