nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
