ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
