last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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