I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
