haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
