do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
