The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize