i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize
