So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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