Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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