Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
