Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
