Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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