Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
