I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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