Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
