I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
sex in a hospital.. check
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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