I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
