I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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