you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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