We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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