sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
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