i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
