The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
