Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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