Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You ruined the universe
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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