I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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