allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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