we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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