dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
it's great music for shaving your balls
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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