you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
