i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
bring money and cleavage
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
