so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
