dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
