i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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