i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
