i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize