Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
