WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
