Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
