Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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