Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
