now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
