we're blogging at a bar
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
